Saturday, July 17, 2010

Friends

I recently read a statistic that said people who's close friends are divorced are 75% more likely to get a divorce themselves. I hate this statistic but I can't help but believe that it's true. We don't have any divorced friends. Most of our close friends aren't even married, or in relationships at all. The stark contrast of our singles friends with few responsibilities and no one to answer to, to our little family with baby to worry about and the desire to spend our nights together. Even the most understanding of our friends have been known to say "I just wish he could still go out whenever he wanted". The worst have decided to hate me for every new choice my husband makes of which they do not approve. Well meaning friends will tell one of us the other doesn't treat us as well as they should! Not only is that a betrayal to the spouse you are talking about but to the marriage itself! Creating anger that wasn't even there in the first place, and causing a rift between two people who need to fuse together! A marriage needs a support structure to help fight for each other through the hard times. Not a network of friends pulling in whatever direction they please to suit their desires for the day. It's difficult enough with well meaning friends and misunderstandings from 3rd parties. I can't imagine how hard it would be after spending a day with a newly divorced "free" friend who is looking for the bright side in his/her bad breakup and looking for some newly single company.

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